Galaxy: Bubbles, a review.

To my knowledge, Galaxy never really expressed too much imagination in their work up until the cookie crumble bar. I always liked Galaxy but it was with the cookie bar that they really won a place in my heart. They took a big gamble and it paid off big style because when they hit the shelves, all it took was a cloudy day or not meeting the man of your dreams to crave some crumbly chocolate comfort. That is to say, the cookie crumble ruled as a treat and any excuse would do, speaking personally anyway.

But this is about the bubbles bar, so let's talk. . .

I knew from the get go that this bar was going to be a fun experience, and to be honest I was kind of planning on telling everyone how I got on even before I bought one. That being said, at first I was a little disapointed with the idea of a galaxy bubble bar. Like it's been done and it's been done very well so what's the big deal when some big girly new one comes into town? I'll fucking tell you what, they did it better! I suppose bubbley bar would be a phrase that would bring to mind Aero straight away so it could probably said that the Aero is the biggest boy in the yard. What I really like about Aero is how delicate the bubbles are. Like it's not really about the quantity of the chocolate you're eating, but the experience you get from the delicate caress the texture delivers, made even more sensual when it's cold or with a hot drink or both. Now for the most part, the Galaxy bubble agrees with Aero and not with the likes of wispa of the late Dairy milk bubble bar, in that a delicate, crumbly chocolate bubble system is way more tasteful. Although Galaxy gets the cognac because as we all no, Aero is made by nestle which is apart from Hershys is probably the most tasteless chocolate in the shop, whereas Galaxy is probably the best. To be honest, Galaxy could probably take every imaginative chocolate bar template and make it way better. Galaxy fruit and nut, Galaxy caramello, Galaxy normal. Although it must be said, that one pair of knickers the galaxy bubble doesn't look her best in, is that with a hot drink, the galaxy chocolate seems to have trouble melting like an Aero would. As in, an Aero melts better. I can't really be sure but I bought an aero and a galaxy and had both with a hot drink at different times yesterday to make sure and I'm nearly certain. It's only a small thing, but it can be sure that because of this Aero is still a fine choice.

To sum up, thumbs up for the new lad and I hope she sticks around for pints and crisps.

When we're not Strong.

I can't write any more because I bled on a motherfucker at the blood clinic the other day and they stab your fingertip to get a taste of the blood to make sure it's just right so I can't type with my right ring finger. I'm getting my brother to type the p, l and ;s for now but he'll be gone soon so I asked an old friend to write a little post for me. First let me tell you how I met this guy. Back in the 60s I was working on a steam boat that travelled across the pacific and Atlantic ocean looking for treasure or fishing maybe. I was shovelling coal down in the engine room with all the big furnaces and I wasn't even wearing a tshirt or anything because it was so warm, and the out of fucking no where a big dickhead shark, who was prehistoric judging by the mysterious markings on his belly, jumped up the whatever and then down the stairs into the engine room screaming "I'MA EAT YALL" and sure enough, he bit my arm off and spat it into the oven that's full of fire. "What the shit?" I complained and dived in after after my arm. I tried swimming through the fire after my arm but the heat was too intense even with no tshirt so I called it a day and waited for death to come. But just then, I felt a tug on leg. I was pulled out of the oven and someone through a big bucket of water on me to cool me down. I cleared rubbed my eyes to see that it was Superman who had saved me, and he was holding my arm as well. After I slotted my arm back into place I shook his hand and was all like "Thanks" and he was off and I got back to work. About a week later after the boat had given me the sack for not telling anyone about the shark after superman left which I suppose is a big deal because some people died, I found superman on myspace and we've been on and off friends since. He told me last month that he loved reading blogs and I asked him to write a story for my one so here it is.

Go!

Hi I'm superman. This is a story about when I took a holiday to Japan last year. Only it wasn't actually a holiday, that's just what I told people because I didn't want them to know I was actually on a really dangerous mission. See, ages ago when I was reading beano and dandy annuals(Because comics are for nerds), for shits and giggles, I found they were getting very unentertaining. I went down to the warehouse by the docks to see what was going on and why the writers were losing their focus and found out that the annuals were just a front. The writers were actually making child pornography annuals with slightly racist undertones. I killed most of the people there on the spot, except for the kingpin, let's just call him the bastard, and his tosser henchmen. Overtime I've tracked down and fuckered up the evil henchmen but the bastard has slipped away from me more times that Packie Bonner's planted one in the back of the net for Ireland. I've tracked him down to a seaside town in Japan though, don't ask which one because I honestly can't remember. I left the airport to find seedy seaside bars because that's where you get leads on criminals, but I went to the shop first and got loads of sweets for my hotel room because chocolate bars and all were so cheap there. We're talking like fifty twixs for like €4. After that I went down to the port and found a real dirty bar which is probably where all the smugglers and stuff hung out. It was going to be hard to intimidate answers out of these guys because a fair few were probably packing pokemon seeing as you're allowed to start catching them when you're ten in this country and most of the adults were something old like thirty maybe. I walked through the door of the pub and looked around for the bastard and just my luck, he was there sitting down the back laughing with his friends about racist jokes which I could hear with my superhearing. I hadn't shaved in like a week just because I've been so busy so he didn't recognise me thank fuck. I used my drink order ray at the bar and got a pint so I could have a drink while I thought of what to do. After I finished my pint I jumped up and threw it really hard at the bastard hoping to knock him out but he just jumped up and caught it with a really cool look on his shit face and he said "I knew it was you superman" and now all his friends were jumping up with weapons and stuff. "Shit" I thought "Time for a plan B" and I flew at lightspeed at one of his friends and knocked him out, then put another through the wall with just a flick of my finger, there's five friends by the way. One of them suddenly took out a pokeball and called out a lvl. 52 Electroman which was about to electro get me but I kicked its head off which hit off one of the friends and they both died. But apparently it's bad form to kill pokemon because then the whole bar was going mental and I got thrown out. While outside I saw the bastard and his two remaining friends get into a car and speed off. I can run pretty fast so I ran after them and followed them to a secret cave. I ran in after them down a corridor but a big blue block dropped in front of me. I noticed that it had the mark of the Royal family on it (triforce) so I tried to whistle the song that makes it go away but I couldn't remember it so I just pushed it out of the way because I'm superman. I ran in some more and found a big warehouse room with loads of boxes. I used my x ray vision to look inside and it was more child pornography! I knew I had to put a stop to this right now because cp is sick. The bastard and his two friends jumped out with Aks and started blasting on me. I dived behind a box and took out a pack of dirty playing cards from the box. I jumped out a threw the whole deck shouting "THE HEART OF THE CARDS" like in Yu Gi Oh hoping that at least three had the right speed and trajectory to kill them all. They managed to cut off the two friends heads off but the bastard got away with a graze. He started to run towards his submarine so I needed to act quick. I shot a missile out of my hands that hit him in the legs which blew them off so he couldn't run, class. I ran up and was about to punch his face into strawberry jam but he said "Wait, I'm your brother" but I killed him anyway because that's definitely not true.
Some other highlights of the holiday include pulling birds, meeting a bunch of lads at the museum that happened to be staying at the same hotel, throwing Tony's bed off the balcony onto a police car, getting Tony out of Jail, and buying a malcolm in the middle boxset for real cheap.

Thanks for letting me write in your blog Bryan

No problem Soup.

Time after time after Alex

I came in all early to college this morning and there was like no body here. I usually like to pretend the library is an office where I work so it was hard to play the game today. I was well in the mood for a pepsi though because I was miserable so I went down shop and it wasn't even open. This was annoying for me but it's Saturday like, no biggie. The can vending machine didn't take €2s though. Well that's kind of shit I thought, because no I have to get a bottle and it will make noise everytime I open it and people are going to get pissed with me. I most definitely without a doubt in my mind pressed the pepsi button but still a club rock shandy came out. Then the shop opened behind me and all the friendly can stocking staff marched in. All I could think of going back upstairs was the uncomfortable memory of my parents getting me rock shandies whenever we were like in a pub restaurant at the weekends or whatever. But wait! I have a cold, and Rock shandy is half orange which is like half vitimin C which full on cures cold! Haha, fuck you bad luck, you actually just saved my life!

I couldn't find my best of Cyndi Lauper CD last night so I watched this video for a bit.



I think she has the best voice I had heard all night. I found a link for the album I was looking for ages anyway, and spent all night crying about poor old Cyndi and how her boyfriends don't understand her.

Pokedads

Pokémon as dads, I think this is the best idea.

My favourite.

They're all in here. Some are kind of stupid, but the good ones are really good like all of the Venusaur and Charizard ones.

Duck and Cover

Today I'm sick which is a bummer because it's my first day back to college and I was supposed to go in all gun ho for the sake of moral and whatever because exams are like a month away and I know about as much science as the special olympics. Even though I was taking a full on day off I had a big dumb essay to do on philosophy. I'm doing a class in philosophy because in UCD you can do a class in whatever you want each semester and I did a really neat easy philosophy class in first year was all about like some main topics in philosophy. What was easy about it was that you had to talk about things from your own point of view so it was hard to go wrong as long as you wrote with some clarity. The one I'm doing now sucks though, because you have to learn what loads of famous hard lads think of the hot topics so you can definitely go wrong. I did the essay anyway but it took forever. I'm glad I do science because when you're learning the facts and stuff there's very little room for misinterpretation. It's black and white, but complicated enough to be interesting. I picked chemistry for my third year though which will be hard but I guess it could be fun.

If I could go back in time I'd like to go visit America in like the late forties and early fifties when the cold war started. I was looking at loads of propaganda videos yesterday that were way cooler than anything around today. Particularly this one:

Fuck yeah 'merica fuck the reds

I don't know much about the history or anything, but the cold war happened after world war 2, where America and Russia were allied against the Nazis and the Japanese if Call of Duty 5 is anything to go by. The war ended with America winning so I guess the country was pretty happy with itself. I think they might have made lots of money as well and there was a huge depression in the 30s so things were going class, but then Russia started playing around with Nuclear weapons. America might have taken this as a threat but I'm not actually sure there was any solid threats made.
The bits I like best about all this is America trying to deal with the idea of Nuclear war. It's like a cool juxtaposition between the fine dandy swell life American people had and the idea of something totally grim like a nuclear attack. While not much was known about nuclear weapons this video was made and it's one of my favourites:

Duck and Cover!

Nuclear Fallout wasn't discovered untill around 1953 I think so this was actually a pretty useless idea in this regard. If you weren't instantly burnt to a crisp, an explosion would leave loads of really dangerous particles in the atomosphere that would just kill you slowly. Not to worry though, the lads have a suggestion. Build a teeny tiny room in your house or come to one of ours and live there untill all the bad is gone away. They speculated it would take a few weeks or months for the area to go clean but I'd say it would have taken way longer. This is a small cartoon with an egghead scientist saving your life with diagrams

"He's finally getting the message, are you?"

On the 5th of December, 1951, New york had the biggest air raid drill like ever. Everyone except for resteraunt patrons had to like drop what they were doing and go to designated shelters. If you're really interested, there was like a guide on how to survive living in a public fallout shelter which is actually kind of scary

Part 1

Anyone who's played Fallout 3 will see the inspiration taken from this kind of thing.



I also had a look at some other videos from around this time, about things like how to date girls, and like ads for camel cigarettes where doctors are full on backing camels saying they're right on and it made me think. The standard of living back then seemed pretty peachy, and it doesn't seem obvious that there was much like paranoia about things like there is today, such as like cancer, and aids and climate change and racism and sexism and homophobia and all. Not that this means they were better off, that's another issue, but like they might have been less terrified, which just makes me think of the next fifty years.

Warm hands, cold heart.

I read a Cometbus story about where one his punx friends was having a rager or something for his birthday, but instead of going to the party he went to some community picnic or fete or something in his local park. His reason was that you always hear of the government or the council shutting down public amenites and building apartments or offices which is ok by some respects. Like people need a place to live and places to close merger deals with big investors. But when looking back on the things that were closed, it's usually in regret like "I wish I used it more, what a shame" or something, and he was like trying to appreciate the cool things in his hood before they were taken away which is pretty cool I think. Like he could go to loads of parties and have fun at all of them but he could go his whole life without meeting anyone living around him. Like the old cinderella song goes, "you don't know what you got (till it's gone), well unless you try and approach what you got in this mentality. If the park in Shankill was turned into a giant whatever, I'd probably think "This sucks, I never used it" and I don't really use it much now. Sometimes I go for walks or whatever but not really when it's cold outside.

The message in Cometbus' story has kind of stuck in my mind so I made an effort to appreciate the cool free things by going to the art Gallery on a little date with Alice during my massive five hour Monday lunch break. I've been a few times, like when I'm in town on my own and have some time to waste. But I've never really went with someone, so it was loads of fun. I don't think either of us have a really sophisticated appreciation of paintings but there was one by A dutch painter called Goevart Flink of Santa Claus on his throne touching the king brain which is how he knows who is naughty and who is nice and things like that. I just think it's kind of cute that a grown man believes in santa.



You can't really see it because even though I resized the picture it's gone back small, but the big brain has a crown on it. The lady in blue is just there for scenery, she doesn't mean anything really and the gold lady is an Elf. There was a nudey painting of Cupid and his girlfriend as well which was pretty nice.

To find out about Goevart Flink and get a picture of the santa paiting I had to email the Gallery with a lame description asking them to look around for it because I'd forgotton the name and the guy didn't mind so I guess that don't have much to do so don't feel bad about littering or rearranging paitings and sculptures.

The branches that don't bend in the wind, are the ones that break.

I was told once, that if you kill a mama bird, you've done a bad thing, but if you at least try to raise the eggs like the bird would, then you've made amends. About two years ago, with this lesson in mind I went on a myth busters crusade and killed a middle aged woman, kidnapped her two children and tried to raise them in my room for about a month. when I got home from school I'd just try to teach them what I did that day but I wouldn't keep it up that long because I had shit to do.
After I got caught, the judge gave me two choices because at the time I was known for being really sound. He said that I could go to jail for a billion billion years or something, or I could become a priest and save people's lives. "Fuck yeah, let's be a priest" I thought and might have said. I had a great laugh doing masses and stuff anyway, and confessions were sometimes boring, but sometimes we got to have some real meaningful chats and I'm still friends with some of the people I confessed with. I left the priesthood when I learned the shocking secret that there is no god, because when the secret got to everyone else I didn't want to look like a lying dick-dick. My fondest memory was when a woman came up to me after a fucking wild mass, showing me her newborn baba. "My baby was born on the 25Th of November in Lourdes! Do you think that makes him the next messiah!??" she asked me. "Definitely" I replied with a wink. That baby turned out to be Barrack Obama so I'm looking OK for now heh heheh hehhe hehh. hehhe.




Being in the priesthood though, definitely made me a magical person. I don't mean that like in a wanky way, I mean it literally. It gave me magic powers. It's hard to explain, like it's not like I can turn things into things on demand, but like if I'm in the right place at the right time I could definitely save the day. Take last week for example. Me and Alice were in town walking in circles around the spire eating dib dabs in town, when all of a sudden a big fuck off Indian Elephant comes darting down the road, tackles a Dublin bus into a building killing loads of everyone, then comes up to us with it's big dickhead and knocks over the spire which blocked the road so the army couldn't get at it. Alice was so scared she fell in a hedge. The elephant punched a hole in a petrol truck and sucked all the petrol up it's thing, and then borrowed a match and ate it. We could all tell what was about to happen next. It started blowing fire like more or less everywhere except me thank goodness. I figured it was time to work some magic, so I closed my eyes and thought of my most happy memory just like when Harry Potter is conjuring his ghost animal. I thought of when me and my team, The Seaview Seabiscuits, won the Shankill under twelves football cup against the Fassoroe Fannies who weren't even from Shankill. I shot out my hand and all of a sudden a giant blast of magic exploded out of my palm and turned the Elephant into wood. I thought this might be kind of hard to believe so I had this picture taken afterwards



It's something to do with the bad light, angle, temperature and pressure I think but what looks like hedges in the back round was actually fire and stuff. The Elephant was bigger as well when he was bezerking. I'm not going to try remember what song I'm playing air guitar to there because I haven't a clue. Something victorious maybe.

I started college finally on Monday. It's been hard to enjoy so far because I have a big five hour gap on Mondays, and all I had to eat today was a Snickers so I was real hungry. All the classes I'm doing seem way easier than last year already. I'm still going to have to work my buttons off though, but I think it's going to be less stressful that last year. The easiest class I'm doing is Introductory Spanish. It's like a baby class, it's so good. We did the Alphabet yesterday and how to say your name and stuff. I think I've got it down. Results are on the 2Nd I've heard. My heart goes mental when I think about. I'm trying to savour my parent's love now, because they're definitely going to want to end me next week.

Alice was going to the Dentist today and I insisted on going along because for some reason I like imagined it would be painfully exciting and non stop laughs. It wasn't, surprisingly, because I just slept out in the waiting room on my own. I don't know where it went wrong.

I was listening to Dizzee Rascal's maths and English when I started writing this post and it's still on so I must have written this post faster than usual.